America vs. Russia
The Americans and Russians,
at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the
usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One
day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog
fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the
world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the
world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The
Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler ------- in
the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They
selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed
his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and
trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the
world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches
thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans
showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way
that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When
the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself
around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost
completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the
Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog
in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The
Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief.
`We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best
people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler
------- in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's
nothing," an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons
working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
